Motherhood Disenchanted: Alexa Rose

Marriage & Motherhood

This poem was originally published in Motherhood Disenchanted, a book of poems for the tender mothers soul by Alexa Rose.

My heart throbs in the middle of the day, 

Ripe with grief and loss, 

Angry and prickled with the fear of inadequacy

My mind cuts through short breaths with thoughts of enemies, of worries, of cheap ways to leave it all behind

My laughs turn into stinging teardrops that I insist I set aside

My muscles beg me to sit but I push them onward, to the land of forgetting-to-eat and dehydration

Grasping for a cure, I teeter between exhaustion and production until your arrival

The smile I saved for you is tattered;

The warmth I reserved unwound hours ago;

Our long awaited embrace is nowhere to be found

And yet, through the hazy dusk, one look from your eyes is a vignette of freedom

Is it any wonder why I adore you?

—dear husband, I know this is hard, but I love you

Alexa Rose

lives in Fort Collins, CO with her 3.5 and 4.5 year old boys and her husband who own the farm Well Fed Farmstead. She spends her time drinking copious amounts of tea, hosting writing workshops and women circles, and mentoring women who are interested in Freebirth. You can purchase her poetry book, join a virtual writing workshop, and more at her website.